Monday, December 26, 2011
Time to pull my head out of my ass
Well, it's been a while since I have sat down and put some thoughts down. This blog was always intended to organize my culinary world, now I need to organize me, a monumental task. So forgive me if this seems like a therapy session. I promise I will get pointed back in the right direction.
In an ideal world I would be able to do a culinary experiment eveyday but this little thing called life has gotten in the way. This year has hit me at my core, testing me as a human
I spent the first part of the year trying to figure out my marriage. It seems like I could never quite find the balance needed. It seemed like my cooking was going really well or my home life was great, the two never seemed to be able to coexist. I tried counseling, electro therapy, mood stabilizers and breathing exercises but I could never balance myself. I blamed my ex and still do in some ways but I now understand that I am as much to blame as she was. If I could I would sit down and tell her I'm sorry, I really tried my best.....
The next 6 months were filled with child like lessons for me. How do I live alone? Bills are due on the 1st, right?? Waking up on my Dad's floor sobbing each morning wanting to go home, but I could never go back. I got my shit together for a few months. I concentrated on my business and got a place to live. It seems like I was focusing on whats important but if you don't deal with the problems they just come back in a different form
I guess I am writing this to remind myself were I am in my life. I am not a kid anymore, I feel each event I cook in my back, legs and hands. I have stopped learning and have relied on the lessons I have learned in the past. I have died and now it's time to pull my head out of my ass and start living again